I Love a Lovely Mess

Some Dogs Need the Leash

2011-03-12T10:28:00.001-08:00

Some dogs need the leash.
That taught line,
pulling the neck,
saves the brute from
flinging himself,
headlong,
into a fracas,
into traffic,
into the ass of another dog
obediantly trotting along,
blissfully unaware
that too much freedom
hurts almost as much
as none at all.

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End of the Line

2011-01-17T06:07:00.001-08:00

I know where I'll be getting off.
I wonder if you know too?

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Lessons From Mexico

2010-12-20T07:37:00.001-08:00

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Reflections While on Hold

2010-11-28T13:39:00.001-08:00

Speaking with a woman on the phone, he would begin to imagine, in her voice, the way she smelled: the vanilla scent of Oki Hirashimo, the fade of mothballs and lemons from the old woman with the last name Zuro. A desperately hazy image blossomed and sharpened as his nostrils tasted the phantom scents.

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Would That Life Were Equally Indellible

2010-11-27T13:32:00.001-08:00

It isn't so much that one cannot erase,
but that when one puts rubber to paper,
to turn a phrase,
the paper fights back.

And where a ruled page leaves ghostly misgivings,
smeared, smudged but basically
forgotten,
history leaves nothing behind.

It carries in a satchel
all that it knows,
waiting.

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This, I Expect, Was an Accident

2009-12-22T22:52:00.000-08:00

It took me a while to figure it out,
you know.

But once I did,
I let it lie.

I'm an easy one on
forgiving.

I hoped it would go away.

But there it was,
one day.

Staring me in the face
when I asked if I could check my messages.

Was that on purpose?

Contemporary psychology would have me
bet yes.

But I don't think so.

That's the optimist in me,
I guess.

The optimist isn't home right now though,
so it's harder,
right now.

What's interesting?

Your words were sweet,
about him.

My heart was crushed,
but when I closed them,
I was presented with the option
to destroy them for good.

I couldn't.

Even in that moment,
as always,
I was protecting what was yours.

I'm an easy one on

forgiving.

I let it lie,

and hoped it would go away.

I suppose it didn't after all,

considering.

This is only the second time I have told the truth,
about a woman.

The first was when I fell in love.

The Wagon Didn't Move, I Did

2009-11-17T01:57:00.000-08:00

It's begun again, again.

And for now, I listen.

No telling how long this will last.

But as patterns go,
this one is cut from the same cloth,
and so will fall away,
soon,
scissors sweeping--
snip,
snip,
snip.

That Day I Took From Him My Good Name

2007-12-07T10:22:00.000-08:00

I once stole from my father.

I didn't take his money,
or anything he owned.

I robbed him of his trust in me,
although he never knew.

He hasn't missed it yet,
as far as I can tell.

He goes on the same,
expecting that call at eleven.

But every time I see him
I see disappointment
reflected back from his
grey eyes.

I put it there myself,
expecting to be caught.

What will he think,
when he finds out?

I'll never tell him
exactly what it is I did.

But he'll find out soon,
regardless,
when he passes into the dark.

And one day,
when I follow,
he'll either forgive me
or he won't.

The Last I Ever Thought of You, Today

2007-10-30T23:06:00.000-07:00

There were never any reasons I could give the rain
to stop the endless pounding on my head;
you with all your talcum spices, scents and marble scars
found a way to sin the rain instead.

Break the lamp, slow, babe.
Break the light down, easy.
Tear my heart out, soft, babe.

I'm over you but still I feel the pain.

Rolling down the broadest lane in traffic swept of all,
fingers clutching tightly to a name,
you were weighing deathly on the edge of what I'd done,
scared that you could steal from me her flame.

Turn the flaps up, slow, babe.
Hang your nightgown, easy.
Pour the wine out, gone, babe.

You've changed but all I see is yesterday.

Close the door now, wait, babe.
Hush the hallway, easy.
Pull the shade down, all the way.

I wouldn't trade today for yesterday.

I would not give you back your yesterday.

Stop Shouting

2007-10-23T10:16:00.000-07:00

I'm not saying
I have the answer to everything,
I just seem to fix
all the problems you bring me,
day in and day out.

Does that make me strong,
or you weak?

Or do we dance a paradigm,
like a venus fly trap
and its prey?

In this moment,
who is getting eaten?

Nightcap

2007-10-18T22:48:00.000-07:00

Crawling down the liver screw bit and both blasted,
I was wishing she would say the word.
How could I have known the stars took umbrage
to the way I'd combed my hair?

Chili spice mixed death-trip stared
into the space between my lips and
down my throat which tickled for her love.

Give me your love.

Fold it up and pass it underneath
the saffron quilted coat of arms
you squeeled and awed from down the block.

Pumpkin came and went the almond dusted
block of rock went unmolested
in my hands but not in hers.

Hers never shake.

Even when she clutches, breathes the night.

Turning off the light.

Basking, baking, painting next to noon.

Crescent Walk

2007-07-23T10:47:00.001-07:00

Call me on the carpet, call me
On the phone; call me to
The cockpit of your private radio.
Take my hand and place it, touch me,
Turn me on and then turn me away.

Nighttime comes and watchmen call,
The dirty oxblood sky can't fall
Soon enough for you to take me home.
You control the moon, you know you do.
I can't take the morning without you.

If only all the world weren't standing guard
I'd touch your hair, you'd walk the stars--
All you had to do was give the word:
Painted picture, polka-dot balloons.

After dinner I was scared,
You were calm and brushed your hair.
Nothing meant as much to me as blue--
In the air and off the end of June.

Pocket blast, the sacred coin
Slipped off my finger and into the void.
I knew then the mount had blown the view:
Too much of you...
A fissure cone of earth swept left of true.

Breaking, broken, broke I'm bored
of you turning me down.

That God damned moon.

Turning tricks and paying out to you.

Accept the truth.

I am itching, worn, and almost bloomed.

Teal

2007-07-16T23:25:00.000-07:00

I missed you by a moment.

A silent shout of gold left river-side.
Dead-pan life left under foot.

When summer session coffin smoke
went undetected
other folk were laughing.
And you and me were holding hands.

One week only.
One week only, babe,
and you would be
my Spanish teacher.

You were wearing ultra-smooth
flats and black silk.
I was burning matches with a style
that made you wince.

Turn the clock back a notch
and kiss me please without a thought.

Kiss me please tonight.

I need your kiss tonight.

They were scaring spiders
tight lipped when I was talking.
You were stealing eyes.

I knew that dress was there for me
and I was fit for you.
Your name was nothing new
but still I was talking shit.

Six days only.
Seven days maybe,
and you would cut
the world out, fire.

He's the man I want to be
but not because he smokes.
He tells you dirty jokes
and then he moves inside of you.

Move the hand of fate a bit
and let me make the most of it...

Hold me close tonight.

I need your breathing tight
against me.

Please don't let me go.

I'll never let you go.

The Good Guy Game

2007-07-15T22:54:00.000-07:00

Why is it when I try to say yes
I end up doing the right thing instead?

You gave me the green light,
my hand slid higher,
but when the night closed
I took the train.

Your kiss lingered longer, lighter
the more I lived it out,
and yet I'm sitting here and you're on the 18th floor
or wherever it is you live.

Your legs were trembling,
I felt the shade from your lips,
and all I could think was
don't make promises you can't keep.

I suppose that's why you like me,
and why I will continue to disappoint you.

Or are you happy I dropped you off
and let you down again?

Is that what we do, you and I?

Wherever we went, we turned heads
snapping to the girl in the short skirt
with the handsome man at her arm.

They all assume we're entwined now,
breathing hard and twisting bedsheets
into origami folds.

I'm even disappointing strangers.

I can keep this up indefinitely,
this good-guy routine.

It isn't me,
but I'm playing that game
for now.

If only you didn't have friends
and couldn't find out
how I'm treating the other
women in your life.

Maybe then I might not say no.

Rope-a-Dope

2007-07-10T21:05:00.000-07:00

One I know the answer,
Two won't let me in,
Three just sends me letters and the
Four would be a sin.

You were thinking something
when you told me not to meet you
and I'm sure I'd press the riddle, doxy
if I saw the notes.

White dress
Black skirt
Hair's a mess
Let's flirt.

One can't wait to meet her,
Two just closed the door,
Three pulled up the sash and told me
What was hoping for.

I was never good at pushing
petals on the evening
tressed double tucked and tailored
with a clever parting shot.

You didn't want the world
all tied up nice and gleaming,
but wouldn't that be something
if I gave it to you.

Denim blues
Buttons flared
Buckled boots
Touch me there.

The atom bomb torpedo
that we made it through alive
was the nicest single moment
that I never meant to miss.

You said the canon's flare
were sparks I couldn't wear.
I let you win the game,
until I got you home.

Now, You I'll see this evening,
Her I send my best,
She I'll hold a candle for
You all shut out the rest.

I hope the Four will bring
a season burnt of sting.
If One ends Three begins
or maybe Two will call. Me. Back.

Go Home Now

2007-06-24T09:47:00.000-07:00

I walked the distance of the steps you walked lightly,
turned and shuffled
saw your night bright
sky turn out the lights.

The glowing flowing black and white burned out the weekend,
and cherry soda wasn't all
that wasn't drunk...
We touched hands, watching on and nodding off.

Don't change the channel
there's a chance I'll push the button
on the one thing that moves you
in the place I've never known.

I'm not the man who went
and brought you to a stranger,
pushed you through the open window
and started up the car.

Go home now.

Before I trust you.

I'm not the man who went and brought you to a stranger,
and I don't want to be him
so lock the door behind.

..

I follow closely owing, knowing I will see you.
A dollar in my pocket
for the bread that brought you home.

When the first thing that happens
is a wink that turns a shoulder
the best that matters is a month of oh well.

Don't change the channel
there's a chance I'll push the button
on the one thing that moves you
in the place I've never known.

I'm not the man who went
and brought you to a stranger,
pushed you through the open window
and turned out the lights.

You're home now.

And I believe you.

I'm not the man who went and brought you to a stranger,
in time you'll know
that he still sleeps next to you.

Make Your Move

2007-06-23T00:24:00.000-07:00

Walk walk walk
the touch of your skin
and the collar of my shirt can't hold me back.

A tip of the hat, some slight of hand
and one, two, three, we're at your door.

I can't kiss you,
you're too demure too soon.

Kissey kissey doll,
your face in the moon,
a porch, a car, alone with you.

Kissey kissey doll,
make your move on me.

Talk talk talk
words on a screen
give me no indication for what I need.

I can't kiss you,
you're much too much for me.

Kissey kissey doll,
you tangle my dreams,
your hair, the wind, a single stream.

Kissey kissey doll,
make it up to me.

When the End Came

2007-06-21T20:26:00.000-07:00

When the end came I did not dance.
The lights stayed on
and no one cried.
My name came and yours did too,
the course we took the gulf stream blew.

On your bed and in my carpet
with a stone felt breath tucked deep in our pocket
the end pressed close and the wind came down,
then nothing.

When the angel came I held her hand.
Her voice was low
and broke sometimes.
Atoms stirred in circle space,
I felt myself and I saw her face.

The dream raced on in a television hue
but the difference with her was that she wasn't you.
I know what you saw despite what you said,
yet nothing.

Touch me now the end is clear--
nothing now that nothing's here.
You think no and search for more
you'll find that I am gone
somewhere.

Touch me now the end is here--
lead me toward that angel's voice.
Burn your salt and cry my tears
in windows there
that I helped seal.

I know what you saw,
despite what you said,
yet nothing.